Have you ever asked yourself or someone else what century they would choose to live in? Well, mine, hands down, would have been mid-1800s. Lets make it official and say I wish I could have been born in 1830, in New York. And that ideally I new this guy named Joseph Smith, and immediately accepted what he was teaching. This would force me to be one of the thousands of pioneers who would have crossed the plains.
Yes I wish I could have been there. The dresses, the trial, the endless walking, the dirt, the straining muscles, the lack of indoor plumbing. Yes, all of it.
That was one of my favorite parts of working at the park. I got to pretend, and act like I was a real pioneer. Bloomers and all!
Dressed in my plaid and calico red dress and apron – bloomers included! (Thanks mom) I was happily sitting in the calf stall letting little Logan suck on my fingers. As a family wanders over I, being the willing customer servicewoman that I am, want the four children to experience the sensation of having their fingers sucked on by a calf. They would love it.
So I lure Logan to the side of the fence and show them what I was doing. I eagerly attempt to convince the city-slicker children how cool cows are with an excited declaration: “Look! It will f______ on your singers.” (I’ll let you fill in the blank). Yep. That is what that little, sweet, bonnet-wearing “12” year-old pioneer girl just said. To the whole family.
Flustered and hoping that the family didn’t catch my blunder I try to recover by saying, even louder. “F______ on your singers.” And once more for good measure as I struggle to pull myself out of a lost battle, “I mean f_________ on your singers!”
Well by this time the dad couldn’t hold his laughter any longer and I, with a face brighter than my calico-plaid dress climbed the fence and beeline it to the barn, leaving the mistaken words hanging in the air.
Still to this day – the most embarrassing moment of my life.
No comments:
Post a Comment